IC CONTACT

[waxwings]

[action/audio/text/video/voicemail]

username: ICARUS

✉ ☏ 📷

"This is Ed. Leave a message."

[He absolutely has vocally advertised his services repairing/creating things for people. Drop him an inquiry.]

Comments

[defaulthawke]

👩🏼➕🧔🏻=🍆🍑🍆🍆💦😘👌🏻👀👌🏻💦💦💕✨💦

[ listen, he got drunk and decided to experimentally text Ed a string of sexually harassing emojis similar to his antics on Zhautas. For science. He wants to know if this is the same Edward Elric. He has to know. ]

[waxwings]

For the last time, fuck off with that. What is it supposed to even mean?

[Ed picked up the meaning of the eggplant back on Zhautas but he'd never had an interest in learning emoji lingo. Garrett, on the other hand, came from a world even further behind on technology than Ed's, giving him the impression that if Garrett knows enough to be sending him lewd texts it's because they're previously acquainted.

Unfortunately, Ed is also dealing with the mysterious disappearance of one Hawkeye, meaning he's not putting together what Garrett recognizing him actually means in the grand scheme of multiverse bullshit beyond that.]

[defaulthawke]

the usual idea of putting body parts inside each other. what else?

[waxwings]

I could figure out the first half, thanks.

You know I don't bother with that crap so why bother?

[That goes for sexting and bothering to learn the meaning of emojis.]

[defaulthawke]

Now I know that you know me.

[waxwings]

You could have asked.

Where the hell were you? I built that lounge and you disappeared.

[defaulthawke]

I didn't like your choice of carpet.

[text → video]

[waxwings]

There wasn't any carpet!

[He knows bullshit when he sees it.]

[video]

[defaulthawke]

[God, winding up Ed was always so much fun. He's missed it.]

Too bad I never got to see it. How'd you finish it without your favorite beast of burden?

[waxwings]

Piece of cake, I built an inn when I was 12.

[Don't give him opportunities to gloat, Garrett.]

It didn't last long before they kicked us all out anyway, you didn't really miss much.

[defaulthawke]

Where'd you go since then?

[waxwings]

Since the Zenith program ended..?

[Was that a trick question. He means Zhautas right? Where the fuck else would be be Garrett, he doesn't know about any off planet pre-Hell adventures!]

Here, why?

[defaulthawke]

So it's only been, what, a month for you?

[waxwings]

In Zhautas terms, maybe.

[it's been longer than a month but not yet two months, by his calculations. He's not sure Garrett's calendar works the same as any he'd know, anyway.]

[defaulthawke]

I haven't seen you in almost a year.

[waxwings]

Welcome to the multiverse. You know how many birthdays I've missed? I don't even know how old I am.

Time just... does that, it doesn't always line up.

[defaulthawke]

How many years do you remember? How many has your body lived?

[Those are probably four different answers. He's cool with it.]

[waxwings]

I remember 20 years that didn't happen.

[Dryly, almost as if he doesn't expect Garrett to believe that.]

My best guess is around 24. I've missed six months enough times... that I'm probably aging a little faster than I should but I can't be any younger than 21.

When I left Zhautas it was June but now it's January, that sort of thing.

[defaulthawke]

Just go with the middle. Try... 23. 23 is a good age.

[waxwings]

I spent five months being 23 in the company of that purple bastard, it wasn't exactly a good age for me.

I'm not interested in reliving a whole year of that, the sooner it's behind me the better.

[defaulthawke]

Just to be clear, we're talking about the purple tentacled bastard, right? It's a big multiverse, I imagine there's a lot of purple bastards.

[waxwings]

Yeah, he had the network rigged to alert him if anyone used that word, I learned to avoid it. It'll take some getting used to, not having the chip anymore.

[Shocking he got away with 'purple' considering Quin's methods, but he didn't question it. More importantly, though, it was really weird being the one on this end of the conversation.]

You been here that whole year you were gone?

[defaulthawke]

No, I went to this weird jungle full of dinosaurs, then there was a fairy fuckland.

[He said that last part almost dreamily. God, he misses it.]

We lived in a castle. I had jobs.

[waxwings]

[All right, he's got nothing for that but it's not any weirder than the shit he's lived.]

I'm starting to think half the multiverse is sex-themed, I'm just glad to be away from it again.

[Hopefully for good this time.]

How long have you been here then? It's pretty weird, what are the chances we always keep bumping into the same people? Every place I've been someone I knew was there at some point, either from another world or back home.

[defaulthawke]

Stephen thought it was The Force. Binding everyone together, keeping us looping back to each other.

[It's made more sense than anything else he's ever heard.]

It's been about four months, ish. Three and a half.